Day: 140km
Ride Time:
I'm laying in my tent considering my plans. I am mentally over the journey, based off the fact I have low morale. All my morale is to go home. I want to set up a few things and get my self ready for Uni, a place to live and some income to help fund everything. If I left in Broome then I'd have plenty of time to sort these things out. On the other hand - if I go to Darwin then I could manage to support Whitelion even more and also promote a positive message for troubled youth and help put this discussion on the table of other Australian families. This is a massive motivation for me, along with my environmental drive also being a big motivation for me. The ride to Darwin I know I can do. This is no question to doubt. I am not questioning whether I can do it or not - I am questioning whether my mind can sustain another 2000km of tarmac passing under me. I have had many realisations on this trip and one of those are to stop making things so difficult for my self. I always push things to the limit, which I believe in many cases can be good, but when my education is involved and the prospect of making a descent livelihood to support future plans then it is a different situation. I originally wanted to make a difference. It was the sole reason for me leaving. I wanted to do something so big that it would be on the table of most Australian households. Initially I wanted to support something on environmental, social and cultural level. It was hard to express what I wanted to support, because the issues I was concerned about seemed to be so different to everyone else, yet it all connected to me. I was concerned inside myself about the conditions of Aboriginal health and cultural disintegration whilst also being concerned about my brother and his drug addictions. I found my escape, besides from staying at my Omas, through the natural environment. So then I thought I wanted to support environment awareness. After riding in Tasmania I realised this approach wasn't going to work, so I made my cause directly focused on troubled youth. I realised this is where many people can end up turning their whole lives for the better or worse. My case better, my brothers case worse. The main difference- I lived at my Omas. I realise the case with my brother was he had very minimal support and when support came it was too late, he was suffering addiction and was unfortunately susceptible to mental illness as a result of this.
I chose Whitelion because they help all youth. Whether they are drug dealers, addicts or thief's. The thing they all have in common is they are youth and they need support- the same as every single one of us. The thing now is, if I can't spread the word through what I'm doing then it feels like a waste of time. I can ride, ride and keep on riding, but if its not going to go far for the cause then I have no morale. I no longer get excited by the environmental change and diversity that I was in the first half of my trip. This is replaced for a deep excitement to enter a supermarket. A supermarket is a place I would normally run from- now I dream and day dream about one.
On another note the ride today was alright. I no longer stop when the distance is around 150km. I urinate off the side of the bike and position all my drink bottles so I don't have to pull over. It's a real halt in momentum when you stop at a good speed. It is also hard to keep staring at the clock as it ticks away, when your well aware that at best possible scenario you have minimum of 5 hours remaining on your daily plan. I just put my head down and keep riding. If I stop then I still have 5hours remaining, possibly 6 or 7 depending on wind. If I urinate off the side of the bike then I have under 5 hours remaining. These psychological games go on all day and by mentally overcoming them I am able to continue each day.
I must also note the incredible amount of mosquitoes out here. Tonight and also last night have been the most amount of mosquitoes I've almost encountered in my whole life. More as in the numerous tropical rainforest I've been to. I sat inside the camp kitchen and ate my cous cous and tuna with the door shut. It was equivalent to a sauna on full blast, as my whole body was dripping sweat. I've added a photo for you to see the sweat on my body.
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